by ephraim | Jun 17, 2026 | Difficult Church Members
I was in a coaching call about gossip in church leadership when my coach stopped mid-conversation and said something I haven’t been able to unhear since. “Gossip among leaders is cancer. And cancer doesn’t negotiate. You cut it out, or it... 
by ephraim | Jun 15, 2026 | The Enneagram for Pastors
He had been putting off the conversation for three months. The pastor I was coaching understood biblical personalities and leadership better than he realized. He could see the problem clearly, name the staff member causing it, and describe the impact on the team with... 
by ephraim | Jun 13, 2026 | The Enneagram for Pastors
A pastor from Chicago had heard about what we were building and drove down to see it firsthand. For about thirty minutes he walked the building, talked to different staff members, and just listened. Then he pulled me aside and said he didn’t know what this was,... 
by ephraim | Jun 12, 2026 | The Enneagram for Pastors
He told me about it over coffee, years after it happened, but the regret was still right there in his voice. He was planting a church from the ground up, and his worship pastor was one of the first people who believed in what they were building together. At lunch one... 
by ephraim | Jun 10, 2026 | Church Hurt
I’ve sat across from veteran pastors who planted churches decades ago and now pour into younger leaders as mentors. Some built in California, others launched here in Texas. The geography changes. The story doesn’t. When I ask them what they’ve... 
by ephraim | Jun 8, 2026 | The Enneagram for Pastors
We moved one of the best people we had, and for a while, it looked like a mistake. He was our youth pastor, warm and gifted with teenagers, the kind of leader young men gravitate toward without even trying. When we saw the full scope of what he brought, we made the... 
by ephraim | Jun 6, 2026 | The Enneagram for Pastors
He sat across from me with his head down, staring at the table. Our media director had made another small mistake. Nothing catastrophic, just a typo in the bulletin graphics that made it through to Sunday. When I brought it up, he didn’t get defensive. He got... 
by ephraim | Jun 5, 2026 | Church Hurt
My wife set her phone on the counter, looked at me, and said, “You do too much for the church. You need to let some other people take care of that.” She wasn’t angry. She was tired. And what she was really saying was: I feel like I’m last on... 
by ephraim | Jun 3, 2026 | Church Staff Leadership
He’d been on our prayer team for about a year. Every week, showing up faithfully, no complaints, no warning signs. Then he got married, and life expanded fast. He didn’t quit the prayer team. He just started showing up less, then barely at all, and never... 
by ephraim | Jun 3, 2026 | The Enneagram for Pastors
It was a Sunday afternoon when a staff member found our senior pastor after the service and said, “I hate tomorrow. Can we meet?” The pastor said yes, smiled, finished shaking hands in the lobby, walked to his car, and spent the next eighteen hours in an...